So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize