don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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