You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
