WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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