I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
