I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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