he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
