i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize