can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
