she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
