I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
