Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
