Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
