Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
