Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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