you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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