Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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