i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
