Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
