it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
