im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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