Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just tell him i said nine months
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
