Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
