dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize