So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
