question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
