super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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