the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
