I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize