So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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