Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
