My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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