Sry I called you an 8
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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