I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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