I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
