I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
