my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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