yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the condom got lost in my hair
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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