just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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