Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Randomize
