Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So vagazzling was a success
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
