were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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