You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
