Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
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