so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
