Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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