Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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