I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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