dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
