I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize