I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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