i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
