I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
honey bunches of taint.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
