You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
