everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did i walk over a car last night?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
last night I used snow as a chaser
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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