I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize