So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
