Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
