im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
