This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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