Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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