my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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