I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Michael Bay diarrhea
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
