just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
