Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
