So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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